Here's the deal

OK so here's the deal: I have decided that instead of being obsessed with TRYING to make new friends, I'm going to just go to whatever I'm invited to or find online, and if I find someone nice, great; but if not, that's OK too. So far I've met or reconnected with three or four people whom I'd like to hang out with.

I'm interested to observe people whom I think do a good job at being with other people and making connections. Willee, who unabashedly invites people to events that she thinks are interesting or in which she is involved; if they want to come, great--if not, that's OK too. Susan, who is so friendly and not afraid to talk (like I am, in case someone thinks I'm not interesting), and also generously reached out to invite me to play tennis. Carol, who I met and connected with, but who was the one who followed up to do something else (and inspired me to invite her to something too).

I'd like to learn to be open and chatty and not be concerned that people won't think I'm interesting or nice. To do this, I think one has to be open to rejection. Trying too hard doesn't work. It's hard, but one has to be oneself. Haha how do you do that??

Home sweet home

We live in a small (for us) apartment in the West End of Washington, just across the bridge from Georgetown and its many cupcake shops (grrr). It's really nice to be in a small place with someone at the front desk to accept packages and welcome guests! Plus, we are upstairs from Trader Joes!

We have a guest room that is guest room/office/TV room. It has a sofabed, an Ikea desk and chair, and a gigantic TV that came with the house (we moved it from the living room to this room). We painted it persimmon (almost red) and bought a really fun Crate and Barrel rug. It is super cozy and comfortable and I love it. Still haven't figured out how to set up the wireless printer that lives in the closet though.

The living room/dining room/sitting area is a pretty large space, but very awkwardly shaped. Where the dining room should be, we have, after huge deliberation, put our two semi-modern chairs and huge ottoman with a smaller TV that can be watched from the kitchen too. I put the rug that was meant to go into the bedroom there, and it looks good. Problem is, we have a beautiful navy blue chenille sofa that doesn't fit anywhere in this apartment (the living room area is a bit short!). The rest of our furniture, which started its life in a gigantic living room in a huge house, fits pretty well into the rest of the living area. We are waiting for a round dining table from Room and Board, and I'm looking for cool chairs that will work with it. That will be squeezed in between the sitting area and living room. Hope it works!

We didn't paint our bedroom, which was a bit of a mistake, because it is very....beige. Waiting for a handyman to be available to hang our beautiful curtains from that same old big house. Maybe that will give it a bit of color; otherwise, we'll have to do a little DIY painting.

So far, all the friends' homes that we've visited are gigantor mansions in the suburbs of Virginia and Maryland. I feel a bit cowed to invite these people to our nest, but we'll just own it, right? Good thing we bought really nice quality furniture and rugs a long time ago :-).

Luncheon

Today, I went to a luncheon for the Pen/Faulkner "Founding Friends", a group that in return for a contribution to the Pen/Faulkner Foundation, invites old women primarily to hear authors speak about their books.  Today was Chris Matthews and 40 or so white women and a few men, held at an enormous house in northern DC.  Matthews was interesting, and spoke with passion about JFK and particularly his "woman problem" extemporaneously for almost an hour.  He looked a little pasty and gut-heavy, and made a lot of references that showed how effete he is--how he loves the white gloved waiters at the Ritz Carlton in Boston, how he loved the Clift Hotel in San Francisco "before they wrecked it", about the "dunes in Nantucket", etc. (I actually thought it was a little bit endearing).

I have a hard time with these types of events, which I'm forcing myself to attend, because I don't know anyone but the organizer, Willee Lewis, and am horrible at small talk.  I also feel as though in DC, I'm not particularly interesting, since all my conversation-worthy activities lately were in San Francisco.  I can only talk so much about being "in transition" before running out of ammo.  Today, I met a really interesting woman, Ann, who was a features journalist for the Washington Times.  She is now developing a blog in DC fashioned after the Talk of the Town in the New Yorker.  She's among many great people I've met briefly in my month here--fun to talk to, but unlikely that I will see again.  This is a social muscle that I need to condition:  how to follow up with people I'd like to stay in touch with, without feeling self conscious.

The bright spot is the Obama campaign:  while I'm frustrated with my inability to drop into the campaign at the same level of responsibility I had in California, I'm thrilled with the small team that is being built in Ward 2, my area.  There are three others who are on board, a Spring Fellow, a man my age named Peter, and a young woman, Melanie, who is a doll.  It looks like they have both good colleague and friend potential.

It was interesting to talk with Hallie last weekend about her experience in New York:  she is pondering how she can reach out to new friends there--difficult because of her challenging work schedule.  It's interesting to be in the same boat as she--hoping to meet new friends in a city a long way from home and our old networks.  I'm lucky to have the time to take Spanish, join the campaign, and go to luncheons and play tennis--all good ways to connect with other women.  It's tough for her because she works such long and unpredictable hours, even on weekends.  I shared with her that I had read a book called MWF Seeks BFF, about a young woman who moved to Chicago and committed to going on a "girl date" with a new potential BFF every week for a year.  While I'm obviously not going to do that, it brought home the necessity of never saying "no" to anything anyone invites me to, and making an effort to follow up with people I do meet...

Today I signed up for a Meetup (an Embassy walk) with a "40+" meetup group online...how bad could that be?  It's not till May though!

I mentioned Willee Lewis above:  she's a Washington institution (everyone seems to know her) whom I met at Lis Petkevich's birthday party a few weeks ago.  For whatever reason, she has really made an effort to include me in a lot of things, including a jewelry trunk show at a friend's home and this Chris Matthews thing.  I think I can take a leaf from her book--she has no reason to reach out to me, but has done so in a meaningful way.  She's a master connector.

Onward and upward--